Day #4 Fasting the body, Feeding the Spirit

Went to bed a little before 11 and then was up @3am. Completely not tired. However, I was experiencing night terrors again which was the cause to my early rise. Fully documented it, not fun stuff.

I went to the bath to continue some reading.

Thought Flash #1, a fast may be a way to correct hormone imbalances. Something that may need to be looked into is the benefits of fasting for testosterone dominate females. The catabolic process of a fast may be able to provide a lasting switch up in hormone production. Possibly a reset button. 

"Privation of food first brings a sensation of hunger, occasionally some nervous stimulation... but it also determines certain hidden phenomena which are more important. The sugar of the liver and the fat of the subcutaneous deposits are mobilized, and also the proteins of the muscles and glands. All the organs sacrifice their own substances in order to maintain blood, heart, and brain in normal condition. Fasting purifies and profoundly modifies our tissues." -Dr. Alexis Carrel, Man, the Unknown

Throughout this process I have slowly noticed my own testosterone levels drop (I should measure this next time to confirm). What may be a decrease for muscle building potential at the moment, has allowed me connect to the "Yin" of my being. I actually feel more in balance. I speak slower and with more kindness.

5am. I'm no longer tired. I'm no longer hungry.

Got a text while at school this morning. My fiancee found the bottles of urine underneath the bed. And, they may or may not have been the bottles designated for wedding centerpieces. Needless to say, she is NOT happy. Oops :-/

I just officially hit the wall of Suck. Feeling low, real low. It's 10:30am. Maybe exercise and adjusting drills this am was a bad idea. Tested my blood sugar, it's definitely low. I needed to leave part of class and go lay down. There is a high level of nervousness radiating throughout my body. It feels like numbness and tingling accompanied with a slight body shiver. My skin is literally crawling and my abdominal aorta is beating so hard you can almost hear it.

I have to stay strong. Tonight I'm looking at a wedding venue w/ Kate. Don't want to let her down.

I'm doing my best to sleep during the lunch hour. The "nervousness" has now concentrated into my feet and hands.

Thought flash #2, there is a lot of time in the day when your not eating... I generally tend to spend a combined 2-3 hours per day in both preparing and consuming food.

Thought flash #3, there is something about 4's. It's day #4 and it has been the worst day of the fast by far. My football number was 44. Every time I won playing blackjack it was at a table of 4. I had three brothers making for a Jones household of 4 boys. Well was a household of 4 boys. The oldest of my brothers passed away at the age of 18. I've never fully let go of that outer attachment. He stays Inked up across my chest and back. He's with me everyday...  

My new world is surrounded by 3's. The Philosophy, Art, and Science of Chiropractic. Give, Love, Serve. Body, Mind, Soul. The triune of life. BGI Geometry and triangles. Etc... It seems there may be a gap between my past world of 4's and my new universe of 3's. A gap of One. A loss of One. Can this fasting experience allow me to let go of my brothers death externally yet hold him near and deep to my heart forever??

Emotions tend to tie strings and wrap us up. I believe that we search for life experiences that allow us to untie the knots. When we can bring full awareness to a past emotion and connect it to a new experience, it initiates the process of letting go.

It's almost 1pm. 85 hours in. I believe I have just now experienced real hunger.

I finished out the rest of the school day the best I could. Both my energy and strength were definitely drained. After school me and the fiance' made our way to the wedding venue. Awesome site, it may just be the one.

Following viewing the venue we met one of our friend's for a drink and a bite to eat... Well, they met for a drink and a bite to eat. I met for water :(

My sense for food has never been so strong. I am hungry, and I mean hungry. 389 in Oakland has African food on Tuesdays and it smelled and looked delicious.  

My will to fight on was definitely tested. But, it's been said, "A faith that can't be tested, can't be trusted."

Keeping the faith, Brett J.